The Night the Bottom Fell Out from Under the Rap Internet
If you like music and weren’t in Austin on Friday night, you were probably on the Internet riding on something of an emotional rollercoaster, led by the unlikely triumvirate of misinformation and hastily bullshat statements that was TMZ, Mack Maine, and Gucci Mane. Friday night, of course, is the night we lost Lil Wayne, then got him back only to seemingly lose him again and then discover that he was definitively un-lost (albeit with a few unanswered questions). Only minutes after we were assured Wayne was safe, Gucci Mane jumped in to announce he was kicking Waka Flocka out of Brick Squad, and then Waka Flocka told him to suck a dick. While he might be one of the greatest rappers currently rapping, a master of tact and timing when it comes to public announcements Gucci Mane is not.
The madness began in earnest when TMZ issued a report that Lil Wayne had suffered from severe seizures related to a codeine overdose, and as a result was now in the hospital. This checks out; Wayne had been in the hospital only two days before for seizures, and had been hospitalized a few months before for a similar issue. At 8:26, TMZ then reported that Weezy was being read his last rites. The scary thing about TMZ is they reportedly have contacts in most major American hospitals, which while not necessarily ethical or cool, means they’re pretty accurate with reporting when and where celebrities are dying (they scooped everybody on the death of Michael Jackson, you’ll recall). However, TMZ is also mostly full of shit, as we soon discovered when Mack Maine tweeted to assure us that Wayne was alive and that he’d soon be tweeting to confirm as such. That tweet did indeed come, but TMZ claimed he was asleep at the time of the tweet, which proves that neither Mack Maine nor TMZ are particularly reliable narrators. The only level head throughout the entire affair seems to have belonged to T.I., who sagely tweeted, “Just holla’d @my Lil bruh Tunechi…& he skraight! TMZ some fuck-niggaz for reporting that hoe-ass-shit!!! That man daughter is like mines… That shit surely got his mama hurtin,his kids hurtin,& he got true to da game patnas like me & Othas who ready to RIDE bout all da fuck shit.” Drake also visited, because Drake seems like a genuinely nice person who is the best. It appears as of now Lil Wayne will fully recover, which is the best possible outcome given all of the intense madness surrounding this very severe health scare.
The way thos of us who don’t have a direct line on Wayne were forced to experience this entire situation was through Twitter, which is literally the worst way to try to experience something in real time—when some people are reading incorrect reports and basing tweets off of them and then others are trying to get caught up to speed but in the process inadvertently confusing others, you kind of get the feeling of being trapped in the world’s largest rugby scrum.